Who is worthy?

This past Sabbath I had the privilege to start studying the Bible with a girl in high school. It was a wonderful study--she was eager with many questions, and clearly had a desire to know more and to follow Jesus. But after that study I had this incredible feeling that I was unworthy. Unworthy to have the sacred task of leading someone to Jesus. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don't say it in the right way? What about all the growth that needs to happen? What if I mess it up? I felt a huge, overwhelming burden and responsibility weighing on me. Then I remembered Jesus. Surrender her to Jesus. Jesus is worthy.

"Then I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, "Who is worthy to open the scroll and to loose its seals?" So I wept much, because no one was found worthy to open and read the scroll, or to look at it. But one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep. Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has prevailed to open the scroll and to loose its seven seals."

"Woirthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive power and riches
and wisdom, and strength and honor and glory and blessing!"

I'm so glad that Jesus uses a sinful human being like me to share the sweet gospel message. I'm so glad that Jesus is worthy.

"Then the four living creatures said "Amen!" and the twenty-four

elders fell down and worshiped Him who lives forever and ever."

.

"I have set before you an open door"*

*Revelation 3:8

As I was driving home today, a thought popped into my mind which brought a smile to my face. What would it be like to knock on doors in Heaven or on the New Earth? A scenario played out in my mind...

knock knock knock knock knock

A woman opens the door with a pleasant smile on her face.

"Hi, my name is Bekah, and this is my Guardian Angel. We're in the neighborhood today doing a community religious survey and we're wondering if you could answer a few questions?"

Friendly neighbor: "Sure! Please, come in! My name is Rahab. Can I get you a glass of fresh pomegranate juice?"

"Yes, we'd love some, thank you."

We settle ourselves in the spotless living room. Bright, glorious light floods in the large windows.

Rahab: "Now what did you want to ask me?"

Bekah: "Well our first question is, do you think there is perfect morality here on the New Earth?"

Rahab: "Oh, of course," she says with a smile and a sparkle in her sapphire eyes.

Bekah: "What do you think the reason for that is?"

Rahab: "Well, the spotless Lamb has taken our place and eradicated sin forever. We do not "enjoy the passing pleasures of sin" here.

Bekah: "Ok. The next question is, was it worth it to live a life of toil on the Old Earth to enjoy life here on the New Earth?"

Rahab: "Without a doubt. Nothing could have been too hard to bear compared to life here with Jesus. "And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets: who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again. Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented—of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive the promise, God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us." Time would fail me...but then again, we have all eternity. I'm sure you'd like to get others' opinions, though."

Bekah: Mmmhmm, according to your understanding, who is Jesus?

Rahab: "Jesus is not only the Son of God, my Savior, and Creator--but I've gotten to know Him on a new level since we've moved here. I love to sit at His feet and listen to His stories. I love to walk with Him here in my garden. I love to trace the scars in His hands. It fills my heart with warmth and love."

Bekah: "I love your scarlet flowers growing down the stone wall, by the way. Do you feel that you know God as well as you would like to?"

Rahab: "Thanks! And no! But I'm getting to know Him better every day."

Bekah: "If you had the opportunity, would you like to spend more time with God?"

Rahab: "Oh, absolutely."

Bekah: "Great! Well we're having a praise meeting at my house on Thursday evenings. Jesus will be directing the orchestra. Would you like to come?"

Rahab: "I'd love to!"


Heaven. The New Earth. A place "whose builder and maker is God." Where everyone wants to know God better. A place where there's no lamp and no sun, "for the Lord God gives them light." A place where "the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new." I can't wait for that day!


Until then, I knock on doors.

Memories of a yellow dress

*At ARISE we had to preach a 10 minute sermon, so the following is basically what I shared with my classmates. I did my sermon on Esther. I've loved the story of Esther ever since I was a little girl. The pictures were my favorite to look at in Uncle Arthur's "Bible Story" books. Esther appears before the king in a beautiful yellow dress. I just opened the book up again to admire the picture. Yep, still as lovely as I remember. Only now...I see it with different eyes.

The story of Esther starts off with King Ahasuerus, king of Medo-Persia having a party. In a drunken revelry he's deposes Queen Vashti from her throne. Therefore, he needs to find a new queen. "Then the king’s servants who attended him said: Let beautiful young virgins be sought for the king; and let the king appoint officers in all the provinces of his kingdom, that they may gather all the beautiful young virgins to Shushan the citadel, into the women’s quarters, under the custody of Hegai the king’s eunuch, custodian of the women. And let beauty preparations be given them. Then let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti...” (Esther 2:1-4, NKJV). The king thinks this is a pretty good idea, so he does it (2:4).

As a response to the king's command, a young Jewish captive named Esther makes her way down to the palace. Maybe she was excited. Maybe she has doubts about leaving Mordecai. I can imagine that she felt like she wasn't ready to be a queen. As Esther joins the young women from around the kingdom, they have to go through a preparation time-- "Each young woman’s turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus after she had completed twelve months’ preparation" (2:12). When Esther goes before the king, he loves her more than any of the other women. "So he set the royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti" (2:17).

Allow me to depart from the story of Esther for a moment. God was searching for willing people to be soulwinners for Him. He led you here to ARISE. You may have had doubts as you were sitting on the plane. I did. I remember sitting in the airport thinking, What am I doing? I'm leaving everything behind. I thought I was crazy. Just as Esther was chosen, we've been chosen by a King to be His missionaries--we've been equipped. We went through a preparation time--four months of classes, experiences, and lessons learned.

Let's return to story of Esther.

After Esther is made queen, jealous Haman plots against the Jews to destroy them. A decree is written "to annihilate all the Jews" (3:13). Mordecai hears of this and pleads with Esther that she must go into the King to petition on behalf of her people. His reasoning--"...who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this? (4:14).

Here we see from the story of Esther that a death decree has been issued--it's Esther's job to save her people. In the end times we're going to face a death decree. But I would submit to you that there is already a death decree issued. Romans 6:23 says the wages of sin is death. But we have the good news of a Savior who pardons the death decree. Will you be faithful and accept the responsibility we have as ARISE students and to God to save people from the wages of sin? Will you be faithful like Esther to say "if I perish, I perish," to give everything up, including your very life? To leave ARISE as missionaries for such a time as this?

And after a moment of silent prayer so everyone could respond in their hearts, that's how I ended the sermon. And now...I'm moving to New Hampshire to be a Bibleworker at a church there. And once again, I feel like (I imagine) Esther felt. I'm excited. I'm scared. I have doubts. I think I'm crazy. What am I getting myself into? But then I remember the death decree. The Romans 6:23 death decree. And then I remember my appeal to my fellow classmates at ARISE. I only hope and pray that I can stay faithful to God! Lord help me to stay faithful to You...

Camp Favorites 2009

The skits and passion play. We followed Moses and the Children of Israel to the Promised Land. I was Jochebed. Oh to raise a son like Jochebed. These daily skits all led up to the passion play which was seeing the plan of salvation through Moses' eyes. We saw the power of sin and the greater power of God.



Myers-Briggs. This summer all the staff got into figuring out their Myers-Briggs. It's a personality test. I am an ISFJ--Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. It cracked me up how we were always talking about it. "Oh, that's because you're an S!" "That was a very J thing to do..." Funny. It helped us to understand one another better. Most of the staff were Introverts. One day Joel came back from his day off to find Kristin reading, Christy off playing the guitar, me off talking with Olivia, and Shannon (one of the few Extroverts) playing volleyball. It had been a long day, I guess!

God time. I've been reading through Prophets and Kings along with the Bible. Right now I'm in Jeremiah and Ezekiel. The most fascinating thing to me is the idea of Israel playing a harlot--cheating on God and becoming like other nations in order to fill their need of a Savior. I pray that I can stay true to God and not search for other things to fulfill me.

The children. I made friends with a four year old girl named Olivia. She would follow me around and sit with me in chapel. "I'm going to pick where we are going to sit, k?" One night in chapel she leaned over and whispered in my ear "I luff you," in her sweet little French accent. What heart wouldn't melt? Jesus says to be like little children. We can learn from their innocence, willingness to trust, and their propensity to follow you where ever you go.


Wakeboarding. Getting up and heading to Barefoot Bay early in the morning when the water is like glass.







Red, Right, Returning! Driving (the Nautique of course) to Fish Creek through the channel is one of my favorite things to do. Water lilies flank the boat on either side as we slip through the no-wake-zone at 5 mph. The whole boat engages in pleasant conversation as we look for ducks, dragon flies, and turtles.


The last-night-of-camp-girl-bonding-activity. Enough said.



Lizzy. Kids camps wouldn't be the same without Lizzy. Lizzy has Down's Syndrome. The entire staff gathered around Lizzy as she left, many eyes glistening with tears.


SPs and NYSPs. We had secret pals amongst the staff. An uproar was created when people received gifts from people who weren't their secret pals! This was dubbed "NYSP," or "Not Your Secret Pal."

Jumping Pictures.

Showering in the lake.







Sleeping in the lean-to. Fresh air is the best.



The Loons.




Seeing God's power. God made Himself known this summer at camp. Getting the bathhouses done by the skin of our teeth, keeping us safe all summer, giving us wisdom, after all, it is His camp.

All to Jesus...

"If God has given me the gift of music, why would he ask me to give it up?" This was the question I asked Dr. Parker as I sat in his office. His response was a question. "Is music for God, or is music for you?"

Me. Music is for me. I love to practice. I love the challenge of taking something I can hardly sightread and practicing it until it's perfect. I love making music with other musicians in an ensemble. I started playing flute in third grade. Ever since then I wanted to be a music teacher. So naturally, I centered my life around flute. I loved band in high school. I played in a youth orchestra on Sundays. I majored in music when I got to Southern, and decided to go on to more school to be able to teach flute.

There was just one problem...I had not been accepted to any of the grad schools I applied to. I felt this strange feeling that I needed to be doing something more to hasten the soon return of Jesus. But there's no way I'd give up a career of music! Seriously, I would rather have my arm cut off than make the decision to not make a career out of music. It wouldn't have to be my choice. Then, ten years later when I'm working at an orphanage mothering hundreds of children I overhear one ask another "I found out that Miss Reynolds used to play the flute...what happened? What happened to her arm?" "Shhhhh! We don't talk about that. Miss Reynolds hasn't played the flute since the accident." (I guess that wouldn't be me surrendering...would it?)

After my talk with Dr. Parker I felt freer. Wahoo, I was going to give God everything. God was going to paint the picture of my life. Yay. I went on the Biology trail and had a nice talk with God.

Tuesday morning I got a message from a trumpet player. They needed a first flute for a gig in Soddy Daisy. I've played this gig before for two years. It's a blast--an Easter musical of the life of Jesus, complete with sheep, camels, warm people--and about $675. Problem: I would miss every single Pentecost meeting but the first weekend. Is this surrendering, God? Do you want me to give up this fun opportunity to make money in order to attend Pentecost?

I was doing fine until Tuesday night during orchestra. We were playing Brahms. What can be more moving than Brahms? Rich harmonies, complex rhythms, and beautiful melodies. Passion and love flooded my soul. No. I can't give this up. I won't. I almost started crying there in rehearsal. As I biked home I fought with God. How could you take away something I love so much? This was God's response: "Bekah, you love it too much."

The next day before my lesson I went to the music building to practice. I played about two measures and the beauty, fascination, and love overwhelmed through me. I broke down, sat on the floor, and sobbed. I can't imagine not doing this everyday of my life. God you can't take this from me! Please! I won't let you.

It's been several weeks now and I really believe that it took rejection for God to get my attention. I was putting music above Him--valuing it too much, especially my success in it. I still may end up at an orphanage mothering hundreds of children or I may end up trying for grad school again. Or maybe it's something totally different than I could ever imgine. But for now I'm taking this day and giving it to God.

a silly conversation about the meaning of lol

me: lol

see

if you would count how many times i have said lol

10:24 AM in this conversation

it would be a lot

Lorrie: true, u do say it alot but I do too so I don't notice. it's like routine of conversation for us

me: i just like to be responsive to what people say

Lorrie: natural IM response

me: i know...lol

Lorrie: and others may think you're hysterically laughing and think it is strange

me: LOL

10:25 AM Lorrie: heehee

me: oh dear

see

now if it's capitol

that's diff

Lorrie: true

thats like major outburst- may actually be laughing in real life

me: hahahahaha

yes

Lorrie: while "lol" is not usually real laughter

me: right

Lorrie: "LOL" is

yes

deflated dreams

Thursday afternoon Lorrie and I headed up to New York. We stopped in West Virginia at some peoples' house for the night. Our accommodations were an air mattress on the living room floor. We got there late and got to bed around 11:30. The air mattress wasn't very firm when we went to bed...

At 5:30 AM:

Lorrie: "Are you on the floor?"
Me: "Mmhmm"

Uncontrollable laughter ensued.